There is no forever without always.
There is no way to gain the riches of commitment without committing.
You can have great friendships but you need to be a great friend.
You can have deep connections but you need to connect deeply.
You can have a life together but you have to give them your life
You can be loved but you have to be loving.
So, you see, if you want forever, it costs always.
Wanting something that lasts is easy. To get it is hard.
It’s work. It hurts. It costs us.
It requires a price, committing, being faithful, connecting, loving—always.
If you want the reward, you need to count the cost. And pay it.
But it’s worth it.
Speak gently and lovingly to yourself today.
No matter what you did or didn’t do, don’t yell at yourself.
Say something encouraging, tell yourself that it will be ok.
That mistake you made isn’t you. You aren’t what you do.
You’re more than that. You’re a child of God, a human being.
You’re who you are.
Greatness is a choice.
Sometimes getting out of bed is like slaying a mythical monster. Other times it could be starting a business.
But no matter what fears you face, or what fear looks like for you, facing them whatever they are is choosing to be great.
Choose to defy them and live greatly.
You can be great.
It’s your choice.
You’re not behind. You’re right where you need to be.
Just because so and so got that amazing title in their 20’s, or grew their business, published their book, got married, had kids, and did their thing before you did, that doesn’t mean you’re behind.
You’re on your own track. You have your own story.
Look at Colonel sanders. He started Kentucky Fried Chicken when he was 62. Was he behind? No, he was right on time. He wandered from odd job to odd job for decades and tried various ventures that failed, and even got fired for punching coworkers. But, he didn’t give up and continued to fight until he encountered birds in a delicious batter that made him famous.
When I doubted my ability to get married and thought I was doomed to a life sentence of aloneness, a friend told me to “Stay in the game.” He was 44 when he found the love of his life. She was the right person at the right time. At 44, he wasn’t behind. He was timely.
And he was right about staying in the game because I found the love of my life a few weeks later at a birthday party. It was love at first sight. Even though I felt behind since I was virtually the last of my friends to wed, the timing was perfect.
Timing is everything. But everyone’s timing is different. You have your own pace; you have your own time. Don’t feel rushed, like you need to do what everyone else is doing when they do it. Find your way. Live your life.
But make sure you keep fighting. Don’t give up.
Your time will come.
My birthday breakfast extravaganza was going just as I planned.
Then with one twist, everything changed.
Here’s the story.
Continue reading “The birthday gift I never wanted but needed”
Another birthday came and went, and I’m solidly over the hill. But I don’t feel that way.
In my thirties, I used to fear being forty. I dreaded it like one dreads a root canal. And it hovered over me like a black cloud. Probably the unknown was the cause for so much fear in me. I mean, What does someone do after they’re forty? I had no clue. It’s hard to see over a hill when you’re still climbing it. But now I know how stupid that was, pure ignorance.
Continue reading “I had no idea midlife could feel like this”