jlexpa

Improve your life with this one simple word

“No.” It’s hard to say it. It’s true. We want to help everyone; we want them to like us; we don’t want them to think badly of us. So we say yes. But the truth is that we can’t help anyone very well when we are overwhelmed. And always saying yes is overwhelming. And that’s…More

The most exciting thing about boredom

Being bored is a gift; it’s an opportunity. Boredom is space, freedom, capacity. It’s the ability to move around, try new things, learn, and, best of all, create. When you’re busy, you are trapped. You have obligations, responsibilities. You have to do such and such for so and so. When you’re bored, your time is…More

What is the greatest greatness in life?

In the process of becoming better, it’s easy to think we are greater than we really are. And it’s one of the worst mistakes we can make, touting our strengths and toting our accomplishments. But the answer isn’t to think we are lesser than we are. That won’t do; it does no good. For we…More

You can conquer the fear of embarrassment

The fear of embarrassment is powerful, but it doesn’t have to overpower us. But sometimes it does. I know all about that. An episode of a TV show kept me from blogging. Let me explain. Billions, a show on Showtime, has a scene where two characters were talking about another person who got fired from…More

Failure is the secret to success

Failure doesn’t have to be the end; it can be a start to something better. Failing sucks—no doubt. It’s something we all want to avoid. And after we’ve failed, we may be tempted to quit, stop trying, hide. But that would be a mistake. For greater success is forged from the ashes of failure. He…More

Suffering is one of the best ways to find meaning

Suffering defines us, but we get to choose its definition. That’s what Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, psychiatrist, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning (affiliate link) wanted us to know. He told his story of suffering and survival, from a personal perspective but also as a psychiatrist. It was sad, but, more than that,…More

Feeling amazing one bite at a time

I love meat. I always have. But now I’m a vegetarian. Why? It’s simple: I feel amazing. For decades, I felt terrible. Chronic pain in my back, legs, and joints plagued me. But here’s the crazy thing, I accepted it as my fate, thinking that feeling that badly was my normal. Being tired, experiencing pain,…More

Surprising love in a city of strangers

Silver doors quickly slide open, and my family and I piled into the subway car with everyone else. All of the seats were taken: It was morning rush hour. But, our five year old whined, “I waaannt toooo siiiit.” Mortified, we tried to hush him thoroughly. But before we did, a man in his fifties…More

I want you to be happy

Last week, I read about Jeff Bezos buying a three-floor penthouse apartment in Manhattan for eighty million dollars. And when I did, I felt something. What was it? Envy. Maybe you can relate? But it wasn’t the apartment, for me, no. What does one do with twelve bedrooms and seventeen thousand square feet? I haven’t…More

Fatherhood: Reflections on the last days of summer with my son

Popcorn, beer, and fans in blue surrounded us. Summer sun was beating down; a cool wind comforted us; and the crowd roared when a homerun soared over the back wall. His face glowed with hope and joy as we sat: My son and I perched in the Bronx. He knew that I didn’t like staying…More