This is the best way to succeed

Failure isn’t an event; it’s a state of mind. No one is truly a failure unless they give up.

I’m not talking about quitting because sometimes you need to quit in order to succeed. Not every venture is worth your time: Sometimes you try something and you find that it’s not working, so it’s good to quit.

To “give up” or failure means that you surrender to the difficulties of life and resign to the sense that “You can’t do it,” any of it—life.

But if you’re still trying and kicking, you aren’t that. You’re just in process.

The key now is to keep at it.

Did you know that Colonel Sanders (a real person) of Kentucky Fried Chicken, didn’t start his famous “finger lickin’ good” franchise until he was in his sixties?

Yeah—true story.

Before getting in the chicken business, he worked all kinds of jobs. And he was a piece of work, ornery and difficult to deal with. He was even fired for knocking out his co-workers.

But he never gave up. He kept going even though he was older, at an age when he should have been thinking about retirement. But he didn’t retire. He fought. Not just with his fists, but he carried on with his mind, gumption, capital, life.

If you keep on living, trying, fighting, you always have a chance of climbing, growing, succeeding.

Keep that in mind and put that into practice and you can’t help but succeed.


Want life advice that helps you live better? Subscribe!


Support this blog by shopping on Amazon.

Use this Amazon affiliate link to buy this book I recommend or anything you normally would (dog-food, diapers, deodorant—you know) in 24 hours, and that will create a magic for me. Thank you!!

This Is One of the Smartest Things You Can Do

To get smarter you have to feel stupid, sometimes. You ask the obvious question, repeat something back, relearn something you think you should have already learned.

Sure, it can be embarrassing. But, to learn you have to be open to learning. And that means you’re not the master but the pupil, not the teacher but the student, not the expert but the amateur. But it’s worth it.

Your mind will bud, bloom, and flourish. And learning isn’t a flower that dies, it can blossom for a lifetime and can even leave an imprint on your friends, family, neighbors, strangers, and, even, future generations.

You see, the secret to getting smarter is forgetting about looking smarter, but loving knowledge so much that you don’t care about looking stupid to gain it.

That’s the smartest thing you can do.


Want life advice that helps you live better? Subscribe!


Support this blog by shopping on Amazon.

Use this Amazon affiliate link to buy this book I recommend or anything you normally would (dog-food, diapers, deodorant—you know) in 24 hours, and that will create a magic for me. Thank you!!

This Is What Love Looks Like

I have an uncle that I admire. His name is Rick.

You probably don’t know him. But, if you did, you would sense that he’s different.

He’s one of the most loving guys I know. And we can all learn from him.

When he wants to talk to my wife or me, he will call and call until he gets a hold of us. If he can’t reach me, he’ll call my wife. If she doesn’t pick up, he will call me, then her, then me, then her again. And if he still can’t reach us, he will wait a few hours then call us again, even if we don’t call back.

When he finally reaches us, he will ask to see us. There’s no shame or guilt in his tone; he’s not upset that we didn’t pick up or call him back. He seems genuinely happy to talk to us. And while my wife and I are deliberating on when to see him, I will look at my wife and she will look at me, while Uncle Rick is still on the phone–waiting. He’s not pestering us. He’s not shrinking or embarrassed that we are taking our time. He quietly waits.

And then when we eventually say, “Yes, it would be great to see you!” he’s delighted. Even though he had to wait minutes for us to figure out the timing, he didn’t interpret it as us not wanting to see him. He gives us the benefit of the doubt.

When he shows up, he blesses us. He loves on us with his words, big smiles, and kind gestures. He brings gifts for our kids; he wishes us well.

And that whole series of events from calling to showing up hasn’t just happened once, it’s happened multiple times, in one form or another, since my wife and I married.

See, Rick’s a pitbull of love. He doesn’t take no for an answer. He’s not deterred by our indecision, upset by our uncertainty, troubled when we don’t call back. He just keeps coming.

He doesn’t think, “Oh, these people have disrespected me by not calling me back or not picking up or making me wait.” No. He just keeps on loving.

And I love him for it. I can’t help but respect him for it. I admire him and try to imitate him. He inspires me. I’m far from being like him, but I’m trying.

I hope he inspires you, too.

In a world that is broken relationally, we need that type of behavior. We need people who fight for each other, take the initiative, reach out, and give generously. We need more generosity. We need more Uncle Ricks.

What would this world look like if people were more resolute, resilient, resolved, tenacious, unwavering for others? What would we as a people be like if we loved each other through the awkwardness, the pauses, the silence? 

We should all be more like Uncle Rick.

Let’s try today.


Want life advice that helps you live better? Subscribe!


Support this blog by shopping on Amazon.

Use this Amazon affiliate link to buy this book I recommend or anything you normally would (dog-food, diapers, deodorant—you know) in 24 hours, and that will create a magic for me. Thank you!!

One of the smartest things you can do

Getting smarter isn’t about knowing everything, it’s about admitting what you don’t know.

“I don’t know,” is such a simple phrase, but many of us have difficulty saying it to ourselves let alone to others. It makes us feel weak, vulnerable, stupid.

But you’re not. It’s the furthest thing from the truth. Saying “I don’t know” is one of the smartest things you can say, because it’s the beginning of learning. It’s the trailhead to gaining more understanding.

To learn is the only way to get smarter. And to do that, you must admit that you don’t know everything, you must open yourself up to the fact that you’re not as knowledgeable as you want to be.

So the next time you are tempted to act like you know something when you don’t, remember this.

Not knowing isn’t bad; it’s an opportunity.

You are rich

If you can’t enjoy what you have, you’ll never appreciate what you want.

If you learn to feel rich in every moment, getting what you hope for will only make you richer.

Gratitude gives you abundance even when you may have relatively little.

And if you have nothing, you can still be grateful for life.

Even with just that, you have much.

Live your life

Too many of us live as if we were dead, but we need to live while we’re alive.

This day is what you have. It’s a gift. You’re blessed. Take it and do the things you dream of, start it, try, begin.

Don’t live in fear. Live out of faith. You’re alive, so stop spending your time worrying about death. That’s a waste of your life.

Instead, start living.

Now.

The most important thing that should matter to you

What matters, really? Your life does. The very fact you get to breathe, wake up, chit chat with your neighbors is paramount. Without it everything else wouldn’t matter.

Another thing that matters are relationships, getting to be with loved ones, the people who really love you and whom you love—for whom you would die—and know.

And that’s when you know what really matters when you’re about to die. It’s ironic, really, that you often can’t see what matters in life until you reach the end of it. What really matters is invisible until you’re about to close your eyes for the last time. But don’t wait until then. That’s too late, damn it!

Why not wake up and live for what is worth dying for before you’ve spent your life living for something or someone you never intended? Don’t make that mistake! Do what’s important.

Start by imagining yourself on your deathbed, drawing your last breaths, dreading the inevitable. In that, what or who are you thinking about, caring about? That is what matters. Death is the key to life.

Because when nothing matters is when we realize what really should matter and that we made what shouldn’t have mattered matter.

That insult, that heartache by that lover we spent too many years fretting about, that partner who cheated us, that parent who failed us, that job we never cared for, that failure we made, that money we didn’t make, that party we weren’t invited to, that flaw we have don’t matter when compared to what really does.

And remember this.

You matter.

You need to know that you’re more than just you

“Just” is a word we should use sparingly with ourselves. “I’m just a mom,” or “I’m just an employee,” or “I’m just a woman,” or “I’m just a child.”

“Just” limits you. It strips away the potential you have, what you can reach. You aren’t just you.

You are becoming, always. You are changing, growing, learning, experiencing. And if you aren’t doing that well, you can, anytime.

It’s a choice. Reaching your potential is always before you and you can choose it today, now.

You’re not just an associate; you can become a partner. You’re not just an employee; you can become an owner. You’re not just a mom; you’re molding the future. You’re not just a kid; you can be wise as a sage.

It will take work, risk, overcoming challenges, facing fears. But you can do it. You just have to do it, go through the pain, face the fear, read that book, glean that lesson.

“Just” doesn’t do you justice. It’s small and keeps you low. That’s just what it does.

You’re more than just the present you. You can always become the future you.

You’re never just you. You can become a better you. Choose it now.

Choose it always.

I want to see you happy

Your face aglow with a radiance blazing from within, rich with joy and satisfaction, is what I wish to see.

May you be filled with a flourishing—not from your possessions, fulfilled with more than just things, wealth, or fame—that comes from a secret knowledge, a mysterious knowing—Love.

Being loved faithfully, unwaveringly, deeply is richness that reaches beyond words, a power more powerful than any other power, a truth truer than truth.

With that, you cannot help but be happy.